Wastage In Modern Day Society...

I’ve heard many stories from my parents and grandparents about their lifestyle during their younger days. Whenever something went broken, it was fixed instead of being replaced including the small items like socks, light bulbs, etc.

This was mainly because financial resources were scarce during the war time and the luxury to replace those items simply could not be afforded.

Today, the situation is very different in my generation. Due to a substantial increase in living standards, my family can afford to be less frugal when it comes to material matters. Food not consumed or food going to be expired is simply tossed into the garbage without consideration of wastage. Clothes that no longer fit as well or which colour has faded over time are discarded or thrown to the deepest corner of the wardrobe pending donation to charity.

Is it correct to waste our resources just because we can afford to? Where is the motivation to spend the effort to fix something broken when you can well afford to replace it easily. I believe there is no correct answer to those arguments.

As for me, I doubt I’ll stop throwing away food that I cannot finish nor think twice to pay extra for toll just because I fear getting stuck in traffic as in my mind, I still can easily afford those small luxuries.

Putting On A Mask...

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. - Oscar Wilde

Is it only me but does everyone in today's society wear a mask to hide their true selves? Its akin to hiding your emotions with a false smile on your face. Are human beings always trying to show only our happy side to everyone else? Is it a matter of pride; to hide their weakness from friends and strangers alike. Or is it a matter of pretending to be happy to forget your sad emotions?

I've always been attracted to jovial personalities. People that seem to have an ability to be happy at anything, to laugh at everything seemingly without a care in the world. It certainly seems like a juxtaposition because although such people have the capability to remain cheery most of the time, they would also be blissfully ignorant about some of the more important things in life depending entirely on other people to fulfill all their needs. That is definitely not a quality that I find endearing.

Perhaps I truly am a cynic at heart, doubting the existence of truly happy go lucky people. Is it a case where such people have such low expectations in life, they are so easily contented and thus can go around blissfully unaware of the toils and tribulations that most people are going through?

Women's Effect Over Men...

In this day of women's liberation and the strive for gender equality, it still seems to me that the two genders still aren't exactly equal. I believe it is not entirely because of our lack of social evolution but merely our human nature to behave in this way.

The greatest difference herein lies in women's effect over man. In my weekly badminton session, we are an all male group with the typical male camaraderie issuing insults and jibes especially when someone makes a silly mistake or loses a game without putting up a fight.

However, a young woman has recently joined the badminton group and her effect on the rest of the badminton team is quite noticeable. Much of the crude insults and teases have ceased especially from the younger men. In fact, when playing against her, I also observed a slight increase in mistakes caused by the men possibly due to lack of concentration. =)

I wonder whether this effect is merely temporary lasting until the rest of the guys get used to her presence or will it last a lot longer. Looks like only time will tell...

The Routines In Our Lives...

While in the midst of my morning routine, I came to a realization that I have been performing each task at exactly the same time every morning. It has been this way for sometime now.

Every morning, the alarm clock will ring the same number of times before I arise from my bed. After a drowsy journey to my bathroom, the hot shower begins to awaken me to meet the new day. Soon after, its dressing and heading for breakfast. It amazes me that I constantly keep the same timing for my entire morning routine. Sometimes, when I happen to sleep in a few extra moments, my body automatically compensates for lack of time and again I find myself getting ready at the same time.

Personally, I think having a routine does reassure me that I have some semblance of control in my life. I know what time I'll wake up, what time I'll be ready, what time I'll head out of the house, what time I'll reach work, etc. Having that knowledge gives me some measure of peace, its as good as being able to foresee what's going to happen.

Nevertheless, no matter what steady reassurance that my routines allow me, I always look forward to a change in routine. Typically it would be a holiday or another unexpected adventure that deviates me from repetition. What can I say, human beings are so complicated. =)

Happy Valentines Day ???

Its that time of the year again, boys and girls. Where lovebirds are pressured into spending lavish amounts of hard earned moolah on their partners based on an idea that its extra special to do so on this particular day in a year while the businessmen laugh all the way to the bank.

Hmm, looks like I seemed to have dropped more than a few hints about how I feel about Valentines Day =) Well, in actual fact I seem to be in a constant inner battle regarding V-Day celebrations. My inner practical side scoffs at paying hugely inflated prices for flowers, chocolates and a romantic meal on this particular day while my another part of me is thinking about following the crowd celebrating coupledom with my significant other.

This year, it is my wallet that makes the decision. Hence, no big plans have been made for today or at least have not been made yet ;) Sometimes, I do well at last minute decision making. =)

Looking at the coverage that V-Day has been getting in, I notice that this year especially there are equally positive and negative sentiments about Valentines Day. I've never knew that the 14th of February was also celebrated as Singles-Awareness-Day (SAD). It seems more ironic than anything, celebrating such a day when all the couples around are together making singles definitely more aware of their singlehood.

Perhaps its not meant to be interpreted that way. Maybe its supposed to be viewed as singles empowering themselves to realize that they too can enjoy Valentines Day with friends and family. Well, the whole point is rather moot to me as I know whom I'll be spending my V-Day with =)

RE: Guys, Do You Understand Girls?

As the title suggests, this post is a response to a blog post that I read earlier today. See the full post here.

First of all, this would be a generalisation of the male and female gender as each individual is unique and there are always exceptions to the rule. Well, now that the disclaimer is out of the way, lets get down to business =)

I think the bigger problem is the different definition of the "small things that matter" to men and women. Men are unfortunately bound by their egos. Society has determined that men should be the stronger ones and take care of the women. Hence, men don't want to be perceived as weak.

In some cases, some men relate showing affection as showing weakness. This is because men should be able to handle life's trials and tribulations by themselves without having to resort to physical contact such as a hug or a cuddle for comfort.

As for the matter of sending short notes and messages, some men find it a hassle especially after the so called 'honeymoon' period in the relationship. It also doesn't help that men are also constantly teased about having to constantly "report-in" to their significant other. Although personally, I don't subscribe to this line of reasoning.

Having the ability to pick up subtle hints during conversations is a honed and practiced skill. Most men are even unaware that their women are dropping such hints and secretly hoping that the men take notice and surprise them later. I guess men firstly need to be told outright about this occurrence as most are too ignorant too automatically pick up on such things. Communication is key!

When it comes to the matter of giving praise, it can be a very sensitive topic so most men prefer to leave their praises for very special occasions. Imagine how difficult a position he would be in when his praise of "Hey, you look good in this dress" gets retorted with "Are you saying I don't look good in my other clothes?" =)

However, a well placed compliment can do wonders to boost a woman's self-esteem as well as make her day especially coming from a loved one. I totally agree that both men and women should be more tactful in expressing their dissatisfactions regarding their partners. After all, no one is perfect and we all have our insecurities.

The bottom line is men and women are vastly different in many ways but I'd like to believe that He made us this way to complement each other. To allow us to support each other in the best possible manner.

I would recommend that everyone read a book titled "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" to get a better idea into the inner workings of the mind of both males and females. You can find a summary of the book here.

In the recent years, there has been much speculation about "Sensitive New Age Guys" (SNAG) which I believe to be very in tuned to the needs of women. They instinctively know better what women want in each situation and are not bound by society's mold of how men should act. Perhaps us men can learn a thing or two from them to make our significant other's life just that little bit happier...

Self Glorification Of Radio Show Call-Ins???

The other day, my Dad and I were discussing about the motivation behind some of the radio show call-ins, especially those that occur during traveling peak hours where the roads are mostly packed with cars causing dreadful traffic jams.

As an active participant in everyday KL traffic, I've had my fair share of being stuck in traffic jams normally relying on the radio for entertainment. I've always wondered about the motivation behind some of the people who call in during radio talk shows. Obviously, they do not obtain any direct benefit by calling in other than perhaps getting their name mentioned on-air.

So, why exactly do they do it? Could it really be a pure good intention to notify their other fellow motorists of impending traffic jams so that they would be able to avoid them or could it be the thrill of getting their name mentioned over nationwide radio?

I guess I will never know the exact reason but I would like to think that their intention is indeed to do a community service and advise their fellow drivers to avoid potential traffic jams that might extend the travel duration significantly.

Misery Loves Company???

I wonder how the term "Misery Loves Company" came into existence as it really does not make much sense to me. When i happen to meet friends who are miserable, I see no point in joining them to wallow in unhappiness.

Instead, wouldn't it be more beneficial to try to cheer them up and bring them out of their bad mood? Of course, the task of making someone else happy is indeed a elusive art and may require persistence to ensure success. I don't know about you, but being able to cheer up somebody else always makes my day! =)

Similarly, whenever I feel down in the dumps, I would very much prefer the people around me not to join me in my foul mood but least maintain an aura of positivity so that I will recover soon and revert back to my normal jovial self =P

PS: My sentence construction and choice of words in this post seems to be absolutely dreadful.

The Woes Of Pizza Deliverymen...

*Back to regular musings in the New Year*

While driving on the road, I have had the opportunity to witness one too many pizza delivery riders running red lights, weaving between traffic and committing various other traffic offences all with the intention to make haste in their delivery.

The motivation is simple. If they fail to deliver on time, they are required to compensate the customer with a discount voucher or something along those lines. If they continue to make late deliveries on a continuous basis, they will also be in danger of losing their jobs.

I completely understand the rationale behind the pizza company compensating their customers on later than normal delivery. However, considering the distance that the pizza delivery rider is covering, perhaps a longer allocation for delivery time should be allowed so as to avoid potential road accidents?

The Marvels Of Technology

On certain occasions, even I get amazed about how far technology has progressed regardless of my exposure to technology on a daily basis.

Just the other day, I was downstairs working on my notebook and wanted to print a document. All I needed to do was to click the "Print" button, and the printer connected to the upstairs computer began spouting out my document. It seems so surreal that information could travel through thin air from my notebook downstairs to my upstairs printer at the speed of light.

Technology rocks! =)

Change Of Life Style???

I walked into the kitchen and was greeted by a huge pile of dirty dishes in the sink.

"Its your turn to do the dishes tonight" she said.

"Huh? Why can't we just use the dishwasher like always?" I replied.

"Because it finally broke down after 8 years of daily use" she retorted.

As I laboured to clean the mountain of crockery piling in the sink, I seriously could not remember the last time I actually manually washed the dishes at home. But doing it now certainly brought back unpleasant memories of why I preferred to avoid this most unpleasant chore.

--@--

Is it really human nature not to be able to regress in our life style? After one has ascended to the next level, is it really so difficult to go back down to the previous level? Perhaps it doesn't apply to all areas but I'm sure it certainly applies to many things.

Like what I mentioned above about doing chores. Once I had been spoilt by technology, doing a simple task such as washing the dishes now seemed like a tedious undertaking. But thats an argument for another day ;)

Another example would be relationships. I know many friends who are in their mid-20s and have never been in a relationship. They are happy spending time with friends and family indulging in whatever hobbies or activities they wish to pursue and hardly ever feel lonely.

On the other hand, my other friends who have been in relationships but are now single constantly are on the look out to regain their 'attached' status. They seem to believe they are happier in a relationship and now fervently look for a partner to complete them.

However, I think nothing is as big a hurdle than regressing on your financial life style. Having less cash to spend on your daily wants and needs seem to be the hardest to accept. I guess it can't be easy. I personally can't imagine how I ever survived on the salary that I initially received when I was a fresh graduate back in those days.

I guess its easy to say that we should live within our means but its quite another thing altogether when we've enjoyed certain luxuries in the past that we no longer have access to in the present.

Parents Showering Children With Luxurious Gifts???

I know people who have access to virtually unlimited funds via a supplementary credit card...I know people who go on overseas holidays every few months and stay in hotel suites and penthouses...I know people who get luxury cars as soon as they get their "P" driving licenses...

All courtesy of mum and dad...

Unfortunately, there is more often than not a significant price to pay for these material luxuries. Most of them grew up with only the hired help for company while their parents trek across the globe in the everlasting pursuit of wealth.

Many resort to attracting negative attention from their parents who would otherwise rather concentrate on enriching their own coffers. This is primarily why they are now chain smokers, heavy drinkers and some are even substance abusers.

After the parents have gained considerable success in their careers, they look back and find the family in shambles. They then resort to material compensation to alleviate their feelings of guilt.

Of course, this is not always the case and there are many families who are successful in balancing their careers with spending quality time with their families.

At times when I find myself feeling jealous over the luxuries available to certain groups of people, I just remind myself about the possible price they paid for those luxuries. It may not be entirely true all the time, but at the very least it makes me feel better ;D

As for me, I too am sometimes guilty of being too embroiled in the dollars and cents involved in running the rat race to take a step back and see whats truly important to me. I would prefer to have an average but fulfilling life with a happy family rather than a successful meaningless life where I'm like a stranger to my own children.

To Be A Good Sport Or Not???

In the course of one's life, there will be many occasions where one is thrust into the limelight with everyone's attention firmly planted upon him or her. I too have had my fair share of incidents when I'm suddenly put on the spot mostly as the butt of a joke or being asked to entertain a crowd.

In these kinds of situations, I could of course opt to get mad at being put into such a situation, thus spoiling everybody's fun and being labeled a party pooper. In fact, I do remember a time where I had a problem about being laughed at but thankfully I've managed to put that behind me.

I think it says alot about someone's maturity when he or she is able to laugh at himself/herself along with others when being made sport of.

Although its more natural for someone to get mad when being made fun of, we all should learn to take things less seriously and be a good sport! After all, life is too short to get mad over stupid things. Carpe Diem!

Perfectionist I Am Not...

Nothing irritates me as much as a stubborn perfectionist who always insists on doing everything perfectly and would never accept alternative methods of doing things.

Don't get me wrong, I admire people who have high standards. There are many situations that call for people who have zero tolerance for errors, such as overseeing the launch of a space shuttle or conducting neuro-brain surgery.

However, in many other cases, such adherence to a perfection as defined by oneself is not entirely necessary. I have been in many situations before where there were additional complications and increased complexity due to insistence in perfection.

Most things do not need to be perfect. I believe that we would all be happier if we adopt a more laid back approach to life. There is no need to frustrate yourself over the quality of something that most likely would never be questioned.

The important point I'm trying to put across is that one should never insist on perfection in every single task or undertaking unless it is life-threatening or a potential cause for disaster. Life it too short to harp on all the small things causing one to miss the bigger more important things.

Musings On Online Dating...

Undoubtedly, school and college provide the biggest opportunities to meet your romantic partner. The abundance of people of all shapes and sizes from all walks of life together with a wide range of personalities allow a significantly higher chance of finding someone that you are attracted to.

However, the truth is only a small percentage of relationships involving high school and college sweethearts end up in marriage. When working life begins, finding time to mingle and socialize with potential partners will become a luxury that few people can afford.

Thus, many resort to alternative means of finding romance in the form of online dating websites, Internet forums dedicated to singles, etc. From a convenience standpoint, these online sites provide a wealth of information from photos to personal information and interests as well
as partner requirements without having to even leave your computer desk.

For the busy, huge amounts of time can be saved by filtering out the 'weeds' based on their online profiles down to a select few that share common interests and fulfill their requirements. For the shy, online dating serves as a first step to familiarize yourself with others without revealing too much personal information.

Also, I think that meeting people online has the advantage of bypassing the physical attraction phase and allow people to discover each other's personality and character without the prejudice sometimes caused by perceived physical unattractiveness. This is provided both parties are not shallow and insist on an exchange of photographs even before the pleasantries have concluded ;)

In this way, the Internet allows 2 people to communicate to each other on a personal level allowing them to form a more solid opinion about each other without having to meet up in person. If either party find themselves disinterested in continuing the conversation, a mere polite goodbye will suffice to terminate the relationship immediately. You probably could never do that in a coffee date or a dinner date without appearing extremely rude. :D

Nevertheless, regardless of its many benefits, I would like to emphasize that the Internet is at best, a good place to meet people online and should never be the place where the entire relationship exists. The only way a relationship can progress is for both parties to meet up in person.

When this happens, one must take all the necessary precautions due to the high potential of danger involved. There are unfortunately a large number of individuals who abuse the Internet to seek their prey and thus everyone especially women should take extra care in meeting up with people they met online.

Do You Believe In Karma???

I'll admit it. I am a firm believer in karma especially on the road.

Anyone of you who has driven on Malaysian roads would agree with me that some drivers really have no sense of responsibility with the way they are endangering themselves as well as other motorists. However, everytime I meet such people, I just smile to myself and let them have their way. I console myself in thinking that they have some emergency and thus must resort to extreme measures to get to their destination faster. After all, I believe in karma.

I'll come right out and say that I'm not exactly the most law abiding citizen on the road either, although I have become more patient lately due to someone's positive influence ;) But sometimes when I'm in a rush, I still bend the rules slightly to get to my destination quicker.

Hence, my belief in karma extends to allowing people to commit those violations against me because someone else will probably allow me to commit those same violations when I absolutely have to due to various reasons. =)

TITG The Conversational Shapeshifter...

I have several groups of friends that I still keep in touch with. When I converse with them, I can't help but noticing that I adopt different speech patterns depending on which group.

Among my friends who speak better English, I mostly speak at the same level without including any of the local Malaysian slang where as amongst my Chinese educated friends, I catch myself using more 'lah' phrases in our conversations. We even go to the extent of using romanized chinese words in our MSN conversations!

I guess I instinctively do this so as to make the group feel more comfortable when everyone is able to speak at the same level. It would be rather awkward if someone in a group of many persists in speaking at a higher level.

Anyway, it would be more difficult for someone to speak at a higher language level then for the others to 'dumb' their speaking level down so as to put everyone at ease.

Sometimes, I can't help but wonder whether my Chinese speaking friends are doing the same for me when we speak in Chinese due to my half-past-six Cantonese and Mandarin vocabulary. =)

Musing In The Park

Criticizing Bad Drivers???

Anyone who has driven on Malaysia roads will agree with me that Malaysia has its share of bad drivers. From changing lanes without signaling to blatantly ignoring the red light at junctions, its certainly a scary experience to be driving on the roads.

When one is inconvenienced by one of these drivers, it seems normal for the driver as well as his or her passengers to bad mouth the offending driver of the other vehicle. But what if the passengers realise that it was the their driver who made the mistake in the first place?

Do they gain anything by pointing out the mistake of their driver? Will the driver of the other vehicle thank them for defending him or her? I think not.

I personally don't think that Malaysian drivers in general are unaware of their mistakes, its just that they continue to repeat them out of sheer inconsideration or impatience. They most certainly do not appreciate their mistakes being pointed out especially to car full of passengers!

Hence, I've always felt its just so much simpler to criticize the driver of the other vehicle to maintain healthy relationships and to keep the peace.

Speeding Along The Main Road

Expressing Your Love...

There are few phrases that actually have a profound influence on our lives. No, I'm not talking about those immortal words uttered by Donald Trump every week in the boardroom but a phrase used to express one's love.

In this day and age, there are those who use 'love' in regards to every single aspect of their life from inanimate objects to the food they consume and there are those who are so utterly afraid of verbalizing the emotion to the point of causing unnecessary arguments and misunderstandings.

There is of course no right or wrong answer when it comes to the usage frequency if even at all. I think that at the end of the day, everyone is free to say what they want or otherwise.

However, this particular phrase becomes a much heated topic of discussion when it comes to romantic relationships. There are schools of thought who dictate the necessity of professing one's love to each other to maintain closeness in the relationship.

More often that not, it is the fairer sex that constantly champion the importance of this and even deviously pose questions such as "Do you love me?" to their partners in order to receive the proclamation they crave for.

On the other hand, they are also couples who hardly if ever verbally express their love for each other. From my observation, there are 2 kinds of groups that practice this.

The former group believes that the act of professing your love is so sacred that it should only be used sparingly so as not to overuse the word and render it meaningless. Personally, I don't really agree with this as I feel that one shouldn't suppress expressing one's love when the urge comes to say it.

The latter group would be the older generation that grew up in a different time where it was considered taboo to display affection of any sort in public, thus the need for restraint. This restraint soon became part and parcel of their lives extending to even when they were alone and up to this day, most older couples still avoid showing affection of any kind whether in public or not.

In my opinion, I think that the necessity of expressing one's love to one another in a relationship stems from the expectations of both parties. The biggest dilemma is when one party suddenly utters this powerful phrase to the other out of the blue especially in a new and fledging relationship.

If the recipient feels the same way, then its all fine and dandy as he or she can return the expression in a similar manner.

But what if the recipient is still unsure about his or her feelings? Will it be awkward if they just keep quiet or offer a weak smile in response? Will they hurt their partner's feelings by doing so? Should they reply in kind even though they do not feel the same way just to avoid the confrontation soon to ensue if they do not?

Just as a girl is normally more attuned to signals in the body language indicating whether a person is telling the truth or lies, most guys are also able to tell whether the response is sincere or is merely a ploy to avoid further confrontation (if they know how to look for it ;P).

Regardless of how often a couple verbally express their love for one another, I believe that it is definitely not as important as professing their love via their actions, after all actions speak louder than words, right?

The special occasions should be celebrated accordingly but whats more important is that the expression of one's love also be shown in simple everyday affairs.

Nothing says "I Love You!" more vividly than a loving husband still helping out with the housework even though he has had a long day at work or a caring wife labouring in the kitchen to prepare a wonderful meal for her husband even after spending the whole day at the office herself.

Selamat Hari Merdeka!!!

Malaysia's Independence Day is almost upon us and we are once again reminded to be grateful to our nation's forefathers whom have laboured so hard to free our country from the colonisation of the British or are we?

I don't know about you but the first thought that occured to me when a colleague reminded me about the upcoming Merdeka Day was that "Yes! It falls on a Thursday. I only need to take 1 day leave and I'll have a long weekend of 4 days!" ;P

I am also sad to say, the high level of unpatriotism is not restricted to me alone; my sentiments were shared amongst all my friends and colleagues as well. Is that sad or what?

And who's fault is it? Who should we point the finger to for the declining level of patriotism amongst the younger generation? Shouldn't Merdeka mean more to Malaysians rather than just another national holiday?

Well, I'll just do my part and hang a national flag at my window. =P