Deciding Whats Best For Your Loved Ones…
I have heard many instances where parents exert their authority over the children to the extent of deciding every single detail of their children’s lives from eating habits to career choices. I myself am not spared from being influenced by my parent’s advice as to how to live my life.
Since my younger years, I have detested their intrusion into my life as I perceived it as they were undermining my freedom to live my life the way I see fit. Nevertheless, I was never the rebellious one preferring to keep peace and harmony in the family by bowing to their decisions.
However, as I grew into adulthood, I began to see the benefits from learning from other people’s experiences. I started to realize why my parents forced me to obey them even though I did not understand the rationale behind their instructions. It saved me from making many of my own mistakes which would cause me a lot of misery and pain.
As for now, the situation is clearly different, I am now in my mid 20’s and I consider myself independent and mature enough to make many of my own decisions. If I do make any mistakes at this point, I would have to take full responsibility for them and suffer the consequences. My parents too seemed to have gradually begun to respect my capability for decision making and often leave me to my own devices.
I guess I can understand why my parents felt the need to control aspects of my life in my younger years. They were simply doing what’s best for me as they see fit. I’m grateful that over the years they have come to trust me and respect my own decisions allowing me to learn from my own mistakes in the end making me a better person.
Lately, I seem to be experiencing the same feelings of wanting to decide what’s best for my loved ones. It frustrates me that people I care about sometimes may not heed my self-perceived obviously superior advice.
But nevertheless, I try my best not to interfere especially when I know my advice would not be entirely welcome. Perhaps it’s simply human nature to want to protect your loved ones by helping them avoid mistakes and problems.
Or perhaps we’ll be doing them an even bigger favour by letting them make their own decisions and if they fail, rush forward to support them allowing them to better learn from their mistakes without any disastrous consequences.
A definite balance has to be struck and I’m still perplexed as to how to handle this situation in the future when it will concern my own children. Hopefully then, I can keep an open mind and listen to all sides of the story without prejudice.
Since my younger years, I have detested their intrusion into my life as I perceived it as they were undermining my freedom to live my life the way I see fit. Nevertheless, I was never the rebellious one preferring to keep peace and harmony in the family by bowing to their decisions.
However, as I grew into adulthood, I began to see the benefits from learning from other people’s experiences. I started to realize why my parents forced me to obey them even though I did not understand the rationale behind their instructions. It saved me from making many of my own mistakes which would cause me a lot of misery and pain.
As for now, the situation is clearly different, I am now in my mid 20’s and I consider myself independent and mature enough to make many of my own decisions. If I do make any mistakes at this point, I would have to take full responsibility for them and suffer the consequences. My parents too seemed to have gradually begun to respect my capability for decision making and often leave me to my own devices.
I guess I can understand why my parents felt the need to control aspects of my life in my younger years. They were simply doing what’s best for me as they see fit. I’m grateful that over the years they have come to trust me and respect my own decisions allowing me to learn from my own mistakes in the end making me a better person.
Lately, I seem to be experiencing the same feelings of wanting to decide what’s best for my loved ones. It frustrates me that people I care about sometimes may not heed my self-perceived obviously superior advice.
But nevertheless, I try my best not to interfere especially when I know my advice would not be entirely welcome. Perhaps it’s simply human nature to want to protect your loved ones by helping them avoid mistakes and problems.
Or perhaps we’ll be doing them an even bigger favour by letting them make their own decisions and if they fail, rush forward to support them allowing them to better learn from their mistakes without any disastrous consequences.
A definite balance has to be struck and I’m still perplexed as to how to handle this situation in the future when it will concern my own children. Hopefully then, I can keep an open mind and listen to all sides of the story without prejudice.
1 comment:
Sometimes I wonder how I would be like if my parents controlled my life. I guess as a female, I wouldn't be as independent as I am now. In a way, I'm grateful for the freedom I had in my teenage years as I was able to experience and learn many things, which made me a street-smart person... Or so I believe =)
Erm... do you happen to have any "self-perceived obviously superior advice" to give to me? I always welcome your advice whut.. =D
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